Who would have ever thought that I would be a Champion for Changing the way the system views fathers and their ability to be an integral part of their children's lives? Certainly not me! I know all too well what a dead beat looks like; but there is something about a man who really wants to be a part of their children's lives and is never afforded an equal opportunity to accomplish that. Over the years, I have watched friends and others get crushed by the system, when all they ever wanted to do was to have a viable relationship with their children. This has to change. Recently I wrote this article for The Ambassador Monthly entitled, "A Legal & Personal Perspective on What About Dads? Fathers: Relevance, Rights & Responsibilities "
Read the full article here. You get the gist, right? In order to change the situation, we must change mindsets. Who is in the best position to determine what's in "the best interest of the child", but the parents? We have become so self-centered and self-absorbed that we would rather win the case, than create an environment that is secure for our children to have a balanced relationship with their parent.
The REAL reason you are preventing him from seeing his child is because you have a personal issue with him!
Please check your ego at the door! Whatever problem you have with him, it shouldn't spill over into his ability to have a relationship with his children...period. There are countless studies that have shown the benefits of a balanced relationship with both parents. From a personal note, I have witnessed (and lived) how the absence of a parent can create voids in a child's life. As a single mother, I, along with help from my family, raised my son without help from his other relatives. Even with that situation, I never said anything negative to him about his other parent. It was extremely important to me that he have the freedom to make his own decisions about that situation. Did I have a problem with that person? Absolutely! Did I always handle interactions with him appropriately? Absolutely, not! Could I bring drama during the immature stages? Of course I could. What was most important to me was how my child saw me, what would he think if his mother acted a fool with his father? I grew to a place of maturity and I had to eat those negative feelings, thoughts, and regrets. I had to eat them because I had work to do as a mother.
Put Your Child First...No Matter What!
Find a way to overcome the emotional challenges that come along with the demise of the relationship, the feelings of abandonment, and rejection. Make the effort to change and you will find that your child will be happier and healthier. When I see fathers who are fighting with all they have just to spend time with their children, I get excited. I want to help them get the time they deserve. I want every father (and mother) who wants to have a positive impact on their child's lives to be afforded the opportunity to do so. As a Champion in this fight, I will continue to advocate for equality for fathers because they have a responsibility to water the seed they plant. Mothers do not have to carry the burden alone, in the instances where fathers are ready and willing to step up. Will you let him?
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